


Anger Management

by shadowsamurai



Category: X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Friendship, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-16
Updated: 2012-06-16
Packaged: 2017-11-07 21:04:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/435445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadowsamurai/pseuds/shadowsamurai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Tell me, Logan, why are you so angry all of the time?"<br/>That's what Charles asked me. Who knew it'd be such a difficult question to answer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Anger Management

**Author's Note:**

> Mentions drug use and self-harming, but only in passing. Can be read as a stand alone, or a story that happens in the same universe as 'Natural Balance'.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, I'm just borrowing things for a while and I promise I'll put everything back exactly how I found it when I've finished. Well, almost exactly how I found it. ;)

X3-X3-X3-X3-X3-X3

"Tell me, Logan, why are you so angry all of the time?"

That's what Charles asked me. Who knew it'd be such a difficult question to answer.

We were walkin' round th' gardens o' the mansion. It was one o' those rare days that was quiet. Th' students were actin' like 'normal' kids fer a change, Hank was doin' whatever th' furball did, an' Ororo had gone into town to do some shoppin'.

I'd taken myself outside to do a bit o' gardenin, which amused Charles no end when he found me.

"Logan, what on Earth are you doing?" the telepath asked.

I looked up. "Takin' out th' weeds. What's it look like?"

He chuckled. "I'll admit that was a rather redundant question but I was surprised to see you…well, gardening."

I shrugged. "I'm outside, ain't I?"

Charles nodded in understanding. "It's pleasant to have nothing to do."

"Th' world still needs savin'," I said, standing and wiping my hands on my jeans.

"Doesn't it always?" he replied. "Walk with me a while."

"Yer roses need choppin'," I told him as we passed the flowers.

Charles just shook his head. "I never had you as a gardener, Logan."

"Seems I'm th' only one 'Ro trusts to look after 'er plants when they need it an' she ain't around." I shrugged. "Maybe it's a nature thing."

"Perhaps."

We walked in silence for a while - well, I walked, Charles rolled - but I knew it was too good to last.

"You seem fairly settled now," Charles stated.

I grunted. He's th' only man I know who can make somethin' like that sound like an accusation an' a question at th' same time.

"It'll do fer now," I replied.

"You were hoping for a more solid conclusion from your trip to Alkali Lake."

I rolled my eyes. "You mean closure on my past. Yeah, suppose I was. Didn't get it, though, did I?"

"Tell me, Logan, why are you so angry all of the time?"

I stopped, the question surprisin' me. "Yer jokin', right?" I asked as we started walkin' again.

"Not really," Charles replied. "I understand the ordeal you went through when Stryker bonded the adamantium to your skeleton and the subsequent problems you've had with your memory, but you don't seem to have dealt with it. Rather, it seems to me that you are avoiding dealing with it."

"Look, bub, this might be yer house an' yer rules, but I don't need interrogatin' or psychoanalysin'," I snapped. "An' you've got no right to tell me I'm runnin' away from my problems. Yer not exactly a model citizen to start with, you know."

"I didn't mean to offend you, Logan," Charles said, an' I believed him. "I'm just trying to understand you."

I grunted again. "Good luck there, bub." I shook my head an' leant against a tree, rummagin' in my pockets for a cigar an' my lighter. Surprisin'ly, Charles didn't say anythin' when I lit up. Gotta be a first. "You really wanna know?"

He nodded, gettin' himself comfortable in his wheelchair. "I do."

"I've tried everythin'. Alcohol, drugs, tattoos, piercin', self-harmin', any kind o' physical pain you can put yerself through," I told him as I blew smoke rings. "I've given myself every kind o' makeover known to man, an' every time I do somethin', my body puts it all back to normal in a matter o' seconds, minutes, hours." I paused. "Longest I've been out o' it fer was two days."  
"How did you manage that?" Charles asked.

"Went on a four day bender," I replied, grinning. "Did nothin' but drink fer ninety six hours straight. Took me longer to recover from th' lack o' sleep than it did to get th' alcohol outta my system."

Charles shook his head. "And nothing worked?"

I shook my head as well. "So then I tried discipline. I trained fer every kind of combat that took my fancy; boxin', karate, judo, tae kwondo, even th' way o' the samurai. Then I tried meditation. That worked pretty well. Still use it from time to time."

"The gardening?"

I shrugged. "Focuses me. Keeps me calm."

"And the danger room?" Charles asked, a slight edge to his voice.

I shrugged again. "Didn't mean to trash it. Just got carried away."

"I've noticed that seems to happen a lot," Charles said in a dry voice. "You know, I might be able to help…."

I shook my head firmly. "No thanks. You ain't goin' pokin' round in my head unless yer invited."

But Charles just smiled. "I wasn't thinking of that. I need a permanent gardener; the grounds are too vast to keep relying on volunteers from the student population. Would you be interested in the job? By permanent I mean you can leave anytime you wish to, of course."

"I might be."

"Perhaps you could encourage the children to help you. After all, you're not the only one with anger problems," Charles said.

I nodded in agreement with that statement. "So as usual, you wanna help everybody."

Charles smiled again. "Of course."

"What about you? How do you deal with stuff?"

Pain flickered across Charles' face. Sometimes I forget he's only human like th' rest o' us, an' that he carries th' world squarely on his back. It's almost like he feels it every time someone bleeds. Can't be easy for him.

"I swim," he replied eventually. "I read and I teach. I feel that the students are our future. Whenever I feel defeated, I look at the innocent way they live their lives. It helps me through."

"Alright, you got yerself a gardener," I said, havin' made my decision. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad after all.

Charles smiled broadly at me, th' action warmin' his eyes. "Good. Now when you've finished here, come and see me inside."

Wasn't 'til after he'd gone I realised I hadn't answered his question. Reason I'm angry all th' time's because I've got no reminders o' th'. No scars, no tattoos or piercin's, no memories o' massive hangovers…hell, not many memories at all. 'S enough to make any man crazy. Doesn't help I'm a hothead to start with, I guess.

'Bout an hour later, I made it inside. Did my usual glarin' at th' kids, but behind my 'mask', I saw what Charles saw, an' I knew why it pulled him through.

I found him outside the danger room. "What's goin' on?" I asked, sensin' he was up to somethin'.

"I designed this program for you," Charles replied. "For those times when you need to vent your anger in the only way you can. The safety protocols have been turned off and only you can access the program. And it will keep going until you tell the computer to end the program."

"Sounds good to me," I said.

"Yes, but the longer the program goes on, the harder it gets."

I grinned. "Has it been tested?"

Charles shook his head. "Not yet."

"Guess I'd better do that, then."

"I thought you'd say that," Charles said, smiling.

I headed towards the danger room, but stopped outside the doors. *'You'd better stay,'* I thought. *'Case there's a problem.'*

*'As you wish,'* Charles replied.

As the doors opened an' I stepped inside, I heard a voice say, 'subject confirmed. Logan, also known as Wolverine. Program Anger Management initiated."

After that, I didn't have much time fer anythin', not even thinkin'. I was too busy tryin' to stay alive.

FIN


End file.
